James Holtom remembered

NAMPA — In the wake of the tragedy that claimed the life of Jim Holtom and two other Idaho soldiers, Holtom’s fianc/e, 19-year-old Mel Sewell of Nampa, shares what she treasured most about her fallen hero.

Jim was a person whose life was marked by selflessness, integrity, thoughtfulness, and strength, Mel said.

“I’m so proud of him,” Mel said. “He was a good man and I want to tell people how proud of him I am.”Jim and Mel met at Treasure Valley Baptist Church three years ago. Jim immediately became the apple of many girls’ eyes, but the handsome soldier only had eyes for one, much to her surprise.

“I remember not knowing how to react,” Mel said. “I just said, ‘Call me!’”

Two years later, Jim and Mel went on their first outing — a banquet hosted by their church. Mel laughed as she looked at a picture of that night — the couple was standing as far away from each other as they could while still fitting into the camera frame.

The awkwardness quickly melted into friendship, mutual respect, and deep love for each other. After a mere seven months together, even before they had shared their first kiss, the couple spent a day looking at wedding rings. They had decided on December 2007 for their wedding.

The loss

On Feb. 8, 2007, exactly one year after the couple started dating, Jim was killed in action in Iraq. Mel and her family were swarmed with phone calls and text messages from concerned friends and family.

“That night, everyone in the world called,” Mel recalled.

It took Mel a few days to speak about what happened. Two days after Jim’s death, she left for Rexburg with her mother and best friend, Debbie, to spend time with Jim’s family.

Mel said she knew Jim was going to Iraq before they began dating, but that she had never had any fear for his safety. When they would talk by phone or through letters, Jim would constantly reassure her of his well-being and safety.

Mel said when her mother first came to her to tell her the news, Mel said the thought of something happening to Jim never even crossed her mind.

“I knew he was in harm’s way and so did he, but he had me convinced he wasn’t going to get hurt,” Mel said. In hindsight, Mel realized that the place where Jim was stationed, Ramadi, Iraq, was one of the “hot spots” where “everything dangerous was happening.” But she said Jim would intentionally try to shelter her from the brutality of his situation, knowing that she would worry.

“We would talk twice a week, between his missions,” Mel said. “I would find myself wondering, ‘Is he okay, is he alive?’”

The man

Mel described Jim as a “people-watcher,” the kind of guy who wasn’t anxious to be in the spotlight.

“He wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted to be the star of the show like so many other guys,” she said.

Jim wasn’t a man of many words either, but Mel said that made people pay attention to what he did have to say all the more.

“He was a deep thinker, and he had a reason to say something whenever he opened his mouth,” Mel said.

This made the couple’s primary correspondence, letter writing, a priceless piece of their relationship, Mel said.

“It was a different kind of relationship, being long distance for the most part. But with letter writing, you’re not just running your mouth. You have time to think about what to say,” she said.

Jim was also an extremely thoughtful person, constantly putting others before himself.

“Jim was the kind of guy where if he saw a need, he met it. He was very unselfish,” she said.

She recalled memories of some of their favorite pastimes; eating at their favorite restaurant, Texas Roadhouse, sitting at tables in the mall or coffee shops and talking, spending time with her family, and watching movies.

Something that Mel loved about Jim was the integrity with which he lived his life.
“He was such an honorable guy. I respected him,” she said. “Usually, you like them, or you love them, but I respected him too.”

Reality checks

Less than a week has passed since Jim’s death, and Mel said the reality of the situation still hasn’t hit home.
But tiny day-to-day moments act as constant reminders of the tragedy.

“Just little things, like songs, voicemails he left me in August,” set her off, Mel said. Her MySpace page now plays the song “Not a Day Goes By” by country artist LoneStar.

“It’s a good song anyways, but now I have to mute my computer if I want to get anything done — otherwise I just lose it,” she said.
Perhaps one of the hardest changes for Mel is the transition from making wedding plans to funeral arrangements.

“That’s hard — having a funeral at the place I was going to have a wedding,” Mel said.

Last September, the day before Jim left for Iraq, Mel talked him into making a personalized Army teddy bear. Though he was reluctant at first, in the end he got into it, Mel said. The bear, dressed in fatigues, combat boots and tags, also delivers a special message.

“I’ll always love you,” Jim’s voice says when you press the bear’s paw.

Faith

Though the loss of Jim is still difficult to grasp, Mel’s demeanor is unbelievably strong and even hopeful.

Mel said her relationship with Jesus has been huge in helping her through the tragedy.

“We were both Christians, we had placed our faith in Christ, and I know I will see him again,” Mel said.

Though Mel expects the funeral to be another difficult milestone, she said memorial services at her church are decidedly different.

“Of course it’s sad for the family, and I know I’ll have mascara running down my face, but especially because Jim was a Christian, it’s not hopeless,” she said.

Mel will continue to draw on her faith as she tries to decide what to do next. She said she had been taking Bible classes through her church, but that she hadn’t been preparing for a profession other than becoming a wife.

Though her life has been dramatically changed by Jim’s death, Mel believes that God can bring something good out of something bad.

“Every time something big has happened in my life, there’s always been a reason for it,” she said.

She said Jim felt the same way, and had even told her so before he left.

“I remember Jim said to me, ‘I know that God has a bigger plan for me going to Iraq,’” she said. “And he wasn’t scared to go.”
Perhaps one of the hardest changes for Mel is the transition from making wedding plans to funeral arrangements.

“That’s hard — having a funeral at the place I was going to have a wedding,” Mel said.

Last September, the day before Jim left for Iraq, Mel talked him into making a personalized Army teddy bear. Though he was reluctant at first, in the end he got into it, Mel said. The bear, dressed in fatigues, combat boots and tags, also delivers a special message.

“I’ll always love you,” Jim’s voice says when you press the bear’s paw.

Faith

Though the loss of Jim is still difficult to grasp, Mel’s demeanor is unbelievably strong and even hopeful.

Mel said her relationship with Jesus has been huge in helping her through the tragedy.

“We were both Christians, we had placed our faith in Christ, and I know I will see him again,” Mel said.

Though Mel expects the funeral to be another difficult milestone, she said memorial services at her church are decidedly different.

“Of course it’s sad for the family, and I know I’ll have mascara running down my face, but especially because Jim was a Christian, it’s not hopeless,” she said.

Mel will continue to draw on her faith as she tries to decide what to do next. She said she had been taking Bible classes through her church, but that she hadn’t been preparing for a profession other than becoming a wife.

Though her life has been dramatically changed by Jim’s death, Mel believes that God can bring something good out of something bad.

“Every time something big has happened in my life, there’s always been a reason for it,” she said.

She said Jim felt the same way, and had even told her so before he left.

“I remember Jim said to me, ‘I know that God has a bigger plan for me going to Iraq,’” she said. “And he wasn’t scared to go.”

From the Press Tribune

Related Link:
James J. Holtom dies of injuries from I.E.D.