Perspective: Mourning the hidden tragedy in Iraq

Adam is my prism. I look at life through his eyes. He is 20 months old, and everything is new to him. And so far, everything is good. He's loved. He's healthy. He sees the world as a safe place. I know the world isn't safe. And it scares me sometimes, the difference between what he sees and what I know.

Life is fragile. It's why we swaddle infants, and put bumper pads in cribs and seat belts in cars and inoculate against disease. It's why parents don't sleep some nights, many nights, worrying about all that can go wrong.

Adam is my youngest daughter's child, a happy little boy. In 16 years, I wonder, will he be a soldier fighting a war in some far-off place most of us can't find on a map? Will he be ducking bullets and bombs in a town we can't pronounce? Will he lose the legs he runs on, the hands that build Lego towers, the arms he wraps around his mother's neck? I rock him to sleep some nights and tell him happy stories. Am I lying to him by weaving tales?

My best friend's son is fighting in Iraq. He is her baby. Another friend's two sons are in Iraq. They are her babies. Everyone is someone's baby. It takes a lifetime to grow them and only seconds to lose them. And we're losing them while we're shopping, while we're watching TV, while we're listening to the radio and planning our day.

Earl T. Hecker is a trauma surgeon who was stationed in Landstuhl, Germany. He's one of 29 American servicemen who speak about the war in a new book: "What Was Asked of Us -- An Oral History of the Iraq War by the Soldiers Who Fought It," compiled by Canadian journalist Trish Wood. Hecker talks about the 30,000 injured Americans. "I've been to Normandy. I've been to Flanders Fields. I've been to all these places. The soldiers are dead. They're dead. But this is an injury war. . . . Soldiers in Iraq are surviving horrific injuries. . . . Right now it's absolutely hidden. I don't think most people think about these kids at all. Out of sight, out of mind."

The Iraq war has been out of sight. It's like an art house movie. You have to make an effort to see it, and it's mainly been the participant s' families and friends who've been watching. America's preoccupation has not been the war. It's been the latest action-packed adventure -- James Bond this week, somebody else next week -- because war is grim, Sunnis and Shiites are confusing, and no one likes reading subtitles.

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