The Soldiers' Stories: Return to real life can be hardest part

Sgt. John Wilder in his family RV in Wells, Maine, with his wife, Candy, (left) and niece, Samantha Methe. Wilder, who lives in Stoddard, spent a year in Iraq as a medic, but he has struggled to readjust to life at home.

After a yearlong deployment in Afghanistan, Sgt. John Wilder thought coming home would be easy. Rocket attacks would no longer keep him awake at night, and his back injury, caused by a piece of rocket that knocked him onto the dry, rocky ground, would heal with a doctor's care, he thought. He and his wife, Candy, planned a romantic getaway to the Caribbean.

But when Wilder, 40, of Stoddard, came home in November 2005, nothing turned out as he planned. His back pain got worse, and he couldn't return to his job as a metal forger. Pain and nightmares kept him up most nights. The Caribbean vacation was postponed, the money spent on medical bills and new vehicles. Wilder grew irritable and depressed; he felt himself growing apart from his wife of 14 years.

"Everything has changed at home," he said. "We're so close to different worlds, different directions; it's unbelievable."

Candy Wilder said, "Before he left, he was my best friend." She added, "He's a different person."

For troops in combat, returning to the comforts of home becomes an obsession, each day, a single goal: stay alive and get home.

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