Gregory McCoy laid to rest

KILLEEN — It was a moment of total silence.

The prayers had been said. The flags had been folded. The bagpipes had been played.

All eyes were on Lori McCoy — the young, delicate widow dressed elegantly in all black facing her husband’s casket.

The 27-year-old Riesel native and mother of two little boys had been the picture of grace and composure thus far, warmly welcoming others’ well-wishes, taking hugs, shaking hands.

But now something was different. Everyone just waited.

Then it happened. Lori started to cry.

Her cathartic sobs and whimpers pierced the silence. She didn’t hold back. She just cried.

All the media interviews. The cards, flowers and strangers’ hugs. The reality of her husband never returning home.

It was all real now.

That casket in front of her contained the man on whom she had centered her future. Army Staff Sgt. Gregory McCoy, a Michigan-bred Fort Hood soldier who lived in Riesel, was killed Nov. 9 in Baghdad by a roadside bomb. He was 26.

Comrades described Sgt. McCoy on Monday as a family man, but his two little boys, Logan, 6, and Tyler, 3, were too young to understand the magnitude of the day.

Logan fell asleep on a hard bench at the burial site. Tyler whined and cried, and was taken back and forth by relatives to a car. Other times during the day, the boys took turns playing a handheld video game.

Through McCoy’s lengthy tours of duty, Lori was used to being alone. She had long served as both mother and father to the boys. Now it was forever.

The family had dreams of buying a house. Finally having a Valentine’s Day together after seven years of marriage. Having a little girl.

Now, wrapped in the arms of a relative, Lori walked briskly down the aisle of the pavilion set up at the Killeen burial site, not far from Fort Hood.

After others had dried their eyes, paid their final respects at the casket and headed toward their cars, Lori walked back down that aisle. All alone, she placed her hands on the casket and stood a few minutes, her head down.

There was clearly sadness. But hours earlier in a Waco church, a letter she had written reminded people she was not just grieving.

“Deep down, I knew that deploying was what it would take for Greg to feel like a real soldier,” the letter read. “. . .He was going to do what he wanted to do and felt their mission was justified. I could not imagine him not being able to participate in something he felt was his duty.”

Protesters had made it known they would attend his funeral, but none did.

Instead, the day was a fitting salute to a man who, from all accounts, was a true patriot.

Hundreds, mostly veterans, stood surrounding the burial site, holding 11-foot-tall American flags.

There were uniformed Army personnel from Fort Hood.

And about 50 black-leather-clad bikers who had proudly escorted the hearse containing McCoy’s body from Waco to Killeen.

To place in his casket, McCoy’s family from Michigan brought a bag of dirt from the back yard of the small-town home in which he grew up. It was in that back yard that his mother Carol Johnson remembers him playing games like E.T. and “War”.

Now she was watching him being buried in a state thousands of miles away. Johnson, a waitress, said having her son buried in Texas was difficult but necessary for her grandsons.

“His dad and I discussed it,” she said. “I said to him, ‘You’ve got to remind me to be fair.’ I want him back, but Lori’s got to be able to take her sons there and explain to them what a hero their daddy is.”

At every turn, Monday was a reminder of the strength of McCoy’s resolve.

A video of still images showed McCoy’s personality on and off the battlefield.

The pictures ranged from McCoy and his boys pretend-sword-fighting in the kitchen to a now heart-wrenching picture of Logan holding a poster welcoming home his father after McCoy’s first deployment to Iraq.

The photos ended with a video of McCoy’s casket being delivered in the middle of the night from Dallas to Waco.

As Lori begged in her letter: “Never forget his bravery, courage and commitment to our country. Never forget what he sacrificed so that we might have a better life. Never forget that what he died doing he believed in. But most of all, never forget that men and women like him became heroes long before they died, they became heroes when they enlisted.”

Like those in McCoy’s unit who today still fight for the cause McCoy died for.

“I can’t imagine that poor unit,” Johnson said. “They have to go back to work after losing part of their group. They’ve got to get right back to business as usual.”

From the Waco Tribune 6

Below is a letter written by Lori McCoy, wife of Army Staff Sgt. Gregory McCoy and mother of two. Sgt. McCoy, a Riesel resident, was killed Nov. 9 by a roadside bomb in Baghdad. He was 26. His widow’s letter was read aloud during his memorial service Monday.

One question has been put before me time and time again in the past week. That question is “Do I support the war?” Although my answer was the same every time, I have felt that I did not fully explain why I answered the way I did.

While we were in Germany, my husband told me that if he didn’t get the opportunity to deploy, he would not re-enlist. He felt like he was not able to use his training and found himself looking for a way to fulfill that uncertainness inside of him. Deep down, I knew that deploying was what it would take for Greg to feel like a real soldier. When that opportunity was before us, I was excited for him. He was going to do what he wanted to do and felt their mission was justified. I could not imagine him not being able to participate in something he felt was his duty.

Though I worried about him, I knew that he and his unit would do everything possible to ensure their safety and I will never forget the moment of his return from his first deployment. Starting that very day, he was already referring to “when he went back.”

There was something about deploying that really made Greg feel complete. We have a beautiful family and a loving marriage, and I could never find it in me to try to talk him out of something he felt was so important. Greg definitely believed in his duty first. But before you think that is inappropriate, let me say that the many absences we went through made our relationship stronger, and made what time we were able to spend together even more precious.

I never thought that Greg would not come home. To have thoughts like that when your husband is gone would make every day unbearable and I still had two little boys to care for. Through seven years of marriage, I had shown Greg that I was capable of standing on my own two feet and he never doubted my ability to care for us in his absence.

Even now, I feel comforted in knowing that Greg not only loved me but trusted me enough to leave us.

So now, when I think about my answer to that question “do I support the war?” this is what I say. It’s not a matter of whether I support the war. What matters is that I supported my husband in something that was so important to him. I support the other soldiers who served with him and their families, who share in our sacrifice. I support the soldiers of the 410th Military Police Company specifically who, despite my husband’s death, continue with their mission, because I know Greg would want them to complete it.

But I want to pose a question to those who hold the fate of our military in their hands. Will you make my husband’s death worth it? He died believing that his mission was right and just. He was never afraid to fight to defend our country and would have gone to the end of the earth if that’s where the Army needed him. If we allow our nation to feel like this is a war we cannot win, we are saying that the price paid by my husband and other soldiers like him was paid in vain. As Americans, we need to make sure that the end justifies the means.

To our family and friends and those who have been pillars of support during this time, I want to thank you. But instead of mourning for us, I want you to mourn for the people who were never blessed with knowing Greg. He was a loving husband and doting father. He had an ability to make anyone laugh and I feel regret for those who were never able to see this in him.

I know several of you have said that you will always remember Greg. But as his wife, I want to ask you that instead of just remembering him, you never forget him. Never forget his bravery, courage and commitment to our country. Never forget what he sacrificed so that we might have a better life. Never forget that what he died doing he believed in. But most of all, never forget that men and women like him became heroes long before they died. They became heroes when they enlisted.

From the Waco Tribune

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